December 6, 2008

Down but not Out

JP got some bad news regarding his education test he needed to pass. Of course, he was down and frustrated. I found it the best opportunity to pray over the situation. I prayed a prayer I wasn't expecting. I truly felt Christ pouring through my speech. I prayed a prayer of thanks!
I realized I was truly thankful for all the hard times we have been through in the last few months, and for the circumstances we are currently in. I spoke these words, "I look back and don't regret a moment of what has happened these past few months. I'm glad we didn't receive jobs we applied for, JP didn't pass tests, we couldn't afford an apartment, and that I'm at the job I currently am."
Its funny I should pray such a prayer. When every above situation arose, I found myself angry and asking, "why me?" and "what now?" But I find that I wouldn't trade for the world what it has brought us to, what faith has grown in me, and what a strong bond has been created between JP and I in the first few months of our marriage. I am not"in love" with my job, but am thankful I have one, that I have such supportive parents, and that I will be so well prepared for what comes next! Of course we would love better paying jobs, greater opportunities, our own place, and for everything to fall into place. But my usual pessimistic, overreacting self, has become a patient, step-at-a-time, take a breath, pray for peace and understanding, individual. Never before in my life have I felt such patience and ability to rely on God. JP and I know that five and even ten years from now we will laugh and thank God for these such circumstances: failed tests, anything but the greatest jobs, and living with my parents....I am just thankful that I, in the midst of these circumstances, in the present, can laugh and thank God! Through these situations and through examples such as my Dad, I have learned to be rational rather than run on emotions....most of the time!

1 comment:

Joan said...

God is so good! It is amazing how, when we find ourselves at the most difficult times He is there to give us hope. How amazing that you are able to be thankful for the ways God has blessed you instead of complaining about what you don't have. He gives us the grace to walk in grace and because of that you will influence and encourage other people around you (which is ultimatley what our lives in Jesus are all about). They will see Jesus and seed will be planted that one day will take root and produce a harvest.
I will continue to pray for both of you: That the Kingdom of God would come and that His will be accomplished in and through your lives. You are a blessing to me because I see Jesus in you!