May 21, 2008

A Bitter Taste

I need prayer. I have to boldly and humbly admit that I am going through a trial where all I taste in my own mouth is bitterness. I'm not only measuring my blessings based on the scales of others, but I'm becoming jealous of the success of those around me. I can't help but be afraid and worrisome over the lack of jobs that JP and I have. Reality may be that we've only been out of college for less than a month, however reality is that JP and I need jobs. When you have been so faithful, why is it so hard to see those succeed around you? It's my lack of trust, faith, and patience on God and His plan and timing. Lord, help me to keep joy and to banish my bitterness.

May 19, 2008

Shower with love....

Absolutely gorgeous

Ya...I'll figure out how to use all this someday

For all my gossip magazines! (and we loved our hats!)

MOST...of my bridesmaids, and one of my flower girls.

Our mommies!

We had our first shower yesterday at Arrowhead Golf Club. It was organized by JP's mom (aka my future mom-in-law), and given by my sisters and JP's sister. It was beautiful. The food was delicious and the whole shower was so tasteful and beautiful. It was so nice to see, in one room, so many faces of those who may not be family, but have been a part of mine, or JP's, or our families lives, and support us in our future.

Yes, we were bathed....actually more like DRENCHED, with gifts. Words can't express how thankful and shocked we have been. I don't want anyone looking in to think it comes to us as expected or that any of this is unappreciated in the least bit. Our socks have been blessed and we realize that if it weren't for our parents, families, and the support of all those who know us...our getting married at this stage in our lives would not be possible. So no matter the amount of gifts, we are most overwhelmed and grateful for the obvious display of encouragement and joy from those around us.

All of this, is more than we expected or imagined!!!! THANK YOU ALL!!!!

May 15, 2008

Here Come the Bridesmaids...

I picked up my bridesmaids' dresses today. They are absolutely gorgeous! I was nervous that I had made the decision based on time left, but I am so very pleased! My girls are going to look amazing! They may steal away from me!

The weird thing is that as I drove home from the bridal store, bridesmaid dresses in tow, I started to cry. It was the first time I got to see the dresses in person and so I began to think about each girl in the dresses, and pictured the day. My dress is absolutely stunning and so special. So many wedding planners and once-brides, say that the minute they tried on their wedding gown they cried or IT HIT THEM. Although i have already bought my dress and done the flowers and bulk of the planning, it was today that it REALLY hit me. I rushed into to JP's house to show him the dress, fell in his arms and cried. I feel so blessed and know that our day is going to be beautiful, and everything I matter what. And most importantly, the man waiting at the end of the aisle is the man I love and get to wake up to every morning (morning breath or not).

For those of you who are married or in the process, When did it truly hit you?

May 13, 2008

To infinity and beyond

I read this question in my devotions last night and the thought has really challenged me....

"Do you have the capacity to be faithful without having to see the results?"

Have to admit, that was a thinker.

May 11, 2008

Momma Dearest

Breakfast for Mom...made my Richie & I.....that means gourmet!

Mom and her wonderful children and new grandson @ church (minus Bethany and the boys)

Only in the last few years, have I truly come to appreciate my mother. I know this gratitude will be more greatly reflected once I am a mother myself...some day...9not so soon)! And rapidly, within my college years, I have come to call my mother my friend as well. Besides the fact that I am her mini-me, having graduating from Rosie's Law School and majored in argumentation and stubbornness, I value my mother's qualities and strengths. She is a woman of God whom I hope to emulate in all I do. As a soon-to-be wife, I desire to be as supportive and hardworking as she is to my father, even after 25 years.

My Rosie is a model teacher. I used to mock her songs such as, "The Quiet Song," her own biological children call it. Now I find myself repeating it to my own students. She is superwoman and has been to me a friend, supporter, cook, maid, chauffeur, and now, a wedding planner. I love my mother to the depths and the heights and treasure our relationship and her example and dedication to her children, husband, and family.


May 9, 2008

I'm a Big Kid Now...

My late Auntie J always had dolls of various shapes, colors, and sizes, set as part of the family rather than decoration, around her apartment. I remember telling her once as a small child, that "I will never be too old for dolls. I will always love dolls no matter how old I get. I'll have them in my house and on my bed, just like you!" I used to constantly sing these words to every child's theme song, "I don't wanna grow up 'cuz I'm a Toys 'R Us kid..." Now, as I watch the 3 year-olds in my classroom at work, waltz around dragging their "babies" behind them, one arm at a time, plastic bottle in tow, I am taken back to the days when I adored and admired the dozens of prized plastic children's toys that welcomed me in to every room of Auntie J's home. More than 15 years later I have to admit that porcelain figurines with artificial hair and sewn miniature clothing, do not adorn my bedroom. The truth is, that whether we like it or not, the world expects us to grow up. To this day however, the occasional life-like baby doll grabs my attention and brings a smile to my face.

Is there anything that you thought you would never get too old for?

May 3, 2008

And now...the end is here

My tassel has offically found its lasting place on the left side of my square, cardboard cap and my gown is folded unneatly in my suitcase. The room is packed up, and all that is left with my in my dorm room is a desk, bed, and dresser, the pale white, cement walls, and Amber- still asleep and oblivious on my disassembled futon. Years ago, and as recently as weeks ago, I stared at these walls as both home and a prison cell. Now, although all the walls are bare and the room is empty, is seems to resonate memories and to be the only thing hiding my tears from the world. When my sisters told me how hard college would be to leave behind, I didn't believe them (even though I'm the world's most emotional woman). It began on my drive home from downtown last night. I realized it would be the last art walk, the last stroll down the busy streets, and the last traffic jam to get stuck in on Glenstone Avenue. I would no longer be a frequent customer to the Super Wal-Marts, and would have to do more than cross the street to rent a movie. The campus is an eerie memory as well. I gazed down the main walk and glimpsed where I called home the past four years. I wouldn't be able to jaunt across the grass to get to the fitness center, I won't have the luxury of opening my dorm room door when I want a social life, and I won't have frequenting visitors from my floor coming to tell me about their day. The experience has been phenomenal- the professors, wonderful, the academics, challenging- the tasks, daunting- the relationships, lifelong- and the memories, everlasting. So although the sky outside my small glass dorm room window is gray (which serves as a simile for my present emotions), I know that I can close my door, take one last look at the engraved silver plate, marked: "Resident Assistant," and shuffle away with a smile.....

May 2, 2008

Daaa, da, da, da, daaa, da

After waiting for this day for four long years, graduation is upon me.
Yesterday we had Baccalaureate and I finally received my cords for Magna Cum Laude. It wasn't until I received those cords that the overachiever in me began to say, "I could have earned Suma Cum Laude." For me, there is never enough. There's always more world to conquer, someone to beat, impress, or parallel. That's how I stay motivated.
I'm so excited my parents and future mother-in-law are in town. I missed my parents so much. They are so genuinely happy for me and are so proud. Their support financially, spiritually, and emotionally is what brought me to this point....the point where I will walk across the stage and be able to throw my cardboard hat in the air with the rest of the class of 2008. Amber and I enjoyed our last bottle of sparkling grape juice last night. Actually though, it was peach. Either way, we finished the whole bottle in about ten minutes...a transparent reason why we don't drink actual alcohol! Can't wait for graduation. Final pictures with people I may see for the last time and pictures with people who created memories for my college experience. Then tonight we are going to Flame for dinner...YUM!

Just hope I don't fall across the stage as I grasp my diploma!