November 13, 2008

Just Breathe

I got some really frustrating news today, having to do with my Illinois Teaching Certification that sent me into a downward spiral.

Have you ever had something shake you and make you take everything else down with you?

I began to regret my decision to go to school out of state, my entire college experience, my current position that I daily find is a trial, and created many other "what ifs?" in my churning bowl of thoughts.

On the way home I heard a song and these words gave me another rattle:
"Even in the darkness, everything is yours."
To many that may seem abstract and confusing. To me, it said it all. I can't say that I've experienced a gallon of turmoil and hardships in my life, rather trivial trials compared to some. However, just when it seems I've picked up my, at times, fading relationship with Christ, something rocks my world. That seems to be a pattern for many, doesn't it. No cliche necessary, I understand why such moments in our lives, arrive at this particular point, but it doesn't make it easier to handle, grip, or put into perspective. Lord be in the midst of my chaos.

1 comment:

Karebear said...

I don't have anything profound to say...just hang in there will get thru and see many more details in hindsight...even details that you find yourself appreciating. Keep us posted! xoxo