June 16, 2011


As I revisited my blog, I was amazed to realize how long I have been on "hiatus" from writing. It's surprising that whether you are on a mountain top or valley, life just seems to get ahead of you. It took what is going on in life at the moment for me to rediscover my passion for written expression. It is through written words that so many things can surface: emotions, events, and a storage place for present-day memories.

It is not a secret that things have been a bit unstable within our family. Dad is still in the hospital and doctors await further tests and developments before we can grasp what is going on his body. The beautiful Sidell twins have arrived and each coo and smirk melts our hearts. Finally, my third year of teaching, and first at the 5/6 level has come to a close. These past few months can be summed up in contradictory forms: successful, difficult, tumultuous, eye-opening, breath-taking, blessed.....

My over-arching goal of returning to this long-lost link, is to record both struggles and moments of joy that God places in my life during this journey we have begun with Dad. I'm hoping that these journal entries remind both dad and myself of how time in the valley is full of God's gentle whispers and kisses of His love and faithfulness.

Thursday June 16th, 2011

I've never wished for summer vacation more! As a kid we ached for pool parties & fireflies. Last night I sat on the back porch watching the fireflies and they seemed to have lost their luster. Antsy adolescents look forward to group dates, midnight movies, and shopping sprees. In adulthood overwhelming responsibilities outside of a career sometimes make a "vacation" seem bittersweet....as the word has lost its once attractive meaning. This year it has developed a whole new meaning. I wouldn't consider these next 3 months a "break" but as a "blessing" That word is much sweeter. I'm able to be here at the hospital with you. Whether I'm diving back into my final "Twilight" book, fiddling on facebook, or discouraging you from daringly leaving your bed for the chair, I'm enjoying every moment. I can be where our family needs me, when they need me. Never have I felt more honored to be a servant. You have always been that to your family.

Today you seemed alert and talkative. When you heard that rehab may mean several days, you were discouraged and your demeanor changed. I can't blame you. I shared how I've been held up by the song "Blessings", which exudes the message of the way that sometimes it takes rain for us to be reminded that God is our solid ground and through it we see evidence of his mercy and faithfulness. I pray this holds you up today and throughout this journey...no matter its length or course.

On a lighter note, I'm looking forward to the wheelchair ride you promised to let me steer you on today. Although I believe the phrase, "poppin' wheels" may have deterred you and dissolved some of your trust in me as a driver, I'm hopin' for more laughs today!

1 comment:

Cara said...

Janna, it is so refreshing to hear you find the blessings your family still has in spite of all you are going through. You are all so strong and your dad has to be proud of the kids he raised pulling together to be there for him and your mom!