Although I'm about ready to be finished with college, I am thankful for the moments that help me to be thankful for the experience. Last night was girls' night. What started as a date with Cheryl, ended up with 8 girls gossiping in my room about weddings, life, and such. Then I waxed Amber's lip for the first time....which freaked her out! It was just plain old fun to be crazy with girls I never get to see. It reminds me that each of them are so sweet and I am thankful to have them as a part of the floor. When I don't feel that I have time with certain girls, God paves a way for us to connect. I love girl time.
During my girl time, JP was out with the guys watching UFC Fight Night. I love that we can spend time with our own friends without feeling abandoned or upset. We've come to that place of total understanding....and needing time with other people. ALthough i do love sharing my floor with 40 other girls, who walk around looking for a shirt to wear on their dates, I can't wait to finally live with one person, to live with a boy, to live with JP!!!!

Chop, chop

I got my hair cut today. I went in asking for more than a trim, but a different style. I wanted to do something different, something unlike me. I wanted to surprise JP with a new look for our anniversary. The stylist cut and trimmed, blowdried and straightened. When the hour was over, I looked in the mirror at a somewhat different style, but the same me. Needless to say, I was a bit disappointed. It was then I realized that I don't need a new look for JP to say a random, " You are beautiful," comment. This man of mine will be just as impressed and taken aback by the same old me. I love him for that and can't wait to finally celebrate our anniversary tonight. I'm all apprehensive though....I have no clue what's in store, which makes it even harder for me to pick and outfit out!

Comm-un-i-ca-tion

A friend once told me that no annoyance is a small annoyance when you're in a relationship. This is so true. A friend of mine was upset over something she felt would seem so small and trival to her significant other. I reminded her that in a relationship, even though the other may not understand the reasons for feelings being hurt, what should matter is that your feelings are hurt. It should hurt the other to see you hurt. As these words habitually rolled off the tip of my tongue, they began to burn; I needed to hear them just as much. When JP and I don't communicate, the small things either become big things, or they appear more often. We have come to a place where I'm all too honest when I'm upset. I find that I'm so comfortable with showing that I'm annoyed or in a bad mood, or bothered, because I know he will stand by me in the end. Is this fair? Although he cares when my feelings are hurt, is there a middle ground between patience and hurt?
I think the answer to my own question is that you can't always avoid being hurt. One can't ignore how you feel. It's what you do with the inconveniences, that matters. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I am hurt about circumstances or from a bad day, JP will comfort and ease the craziness. If I am simply annoyed by the sometimes nagging actions of my handsome knight, I have to be patient. The fruit of the spirit know as patience is the hardest for me to define and to exhibit. Communication could solve it all. If I am so comfortable with being honest, I can step back, look at JP and say how I feel, as well as admit that I'm working on being patient. Although neither of us are perfect, communication can open the door up for us to be accountable to one another in our weaknesses; mine being patience, and can help JP to know when my clock is ticking towards blast off!

Time, time, time

There doesn't seem to be enough time in a day. I'm having one of those weeks that is filled with responsibilities and priorities; one of those weeks that you wish would get over with quickly! I have powder puff games & practices, RA meetings, devos, floor council, duty night during open hall (which is a long 7pm- 1am), a floor event, and this all aside from the daily grind of homework, practicums, classes, and work study. There doesn't seem to be time to run errands, to spend with friends even for a quick cup of coffee, or to have quality and desperately needed time with JP. We haven't had time for each other in a long time. Although I know that this oft happens in life and relationships, I feel like there needs to be a break in time somewhere for us to spend running to the store or grabbing coffee. We started reading a book together a month ago and have yet found time to discuss the first two chapters. When does it end? I realize during crazy times like this however, that this is the beauty of a loving and committed relationship, that my future spouse understands, supports, and stands by me no matter the amount of time that is filled with my millions of responsibilities. Sometimes I feel I am neglecting him and our relationship, but i know that I cannot avoid my vital responsibilities and things on my "to do" list. I am thankful for this man that calms and winds me down when I seem to be going 100 miles and hour, that finds any way to help me, whether its completing my "to do" list with me, or waiting on the sidelines for a chance to jump in when I can finally call a "time out" to relax. I miss my fiance.

Lord,
Give me rest. It's hard to go through days when everything is monotonous and a chore. May I thank you for every responsibility and relationship. May I thank you for another breath. May I joyfully complete every task, and to my best ability. Why is it that we as humans look forward to the "next big event" in our lives? Then when it comes....we are oft disappointed. I pray that you will help me to revel and delight in the moment, so that I may never be solely anticipating tomorrow.
Amen

Ready, break!

The infamous Powder Puff season has officially begun at Evangel. Girls are stretching out their unused legs, running sprints from the sidelines, and tightening up the dirty shoelaces on their cleats. Powder Puff is not just an activity here at Evangel, but an all out sport....minus the scholarships and traveling. As an RA, Powder Puff isn't my favorite pastime. I loved the idea of intramurals when I came to school. I thought that for the first time, I was going to be able to step on a field without the fear of being taken out of the game for a bad play or having to run sprints for every error made in the game. Although it's not necessarily life or death, this game is intense. I am always curious as to how it came to be this competitive. Then I look around and realize why.....competition can bring out the true fighter in a girl. Whether it's for a spritz of hairspray, a wool sweater, a boy, or bragging rights, girls are relentless. We like to walk with pride, confidence, and the winning bruises. I have to remember that once I am on the field I live for the adrenaline and the opportunity to put away my lady-like tendencies. The bonding that takes place on a grass field is like none other. The girl that is usually passive, prim and proper, and has an anxiety attack if she forgets to apply her mascara, is now the teammate running beside you, knocking down anything and everything in her path, gettin' "dirt in the skirt," and ignoring the broken nails that are a result of the battle. Everyone has aggression and everyone has something to play for...whether its heart, for fun, for exercise, or for commradery, there's place for everyone on the field. See you at the game!

Little Rascals

Today I met my class for the first time! The class, that is, that I will be student teaching with. I have a reading practicum with them this fall. I was more nervous than a child on her first day of school. I made sure to pick out the best outfit, which I pressed and laid out the night before. Before I left for the school, Amber made sure I had a good breakfast, which consisted of a Trail Mix bar, and then I sprayed some "neck", as Parker would call it....and sped out of the dorms. I was in such a frenzy that as I turned the corner I realized I had forgotten something. No, not a backpack or lunch box, but my wallet. I figured I could survive without it. As I pulled into the parking lot of the brick building, my gas light turned on. I tried to ignore the "sign" and walked into Robberson, fiddling with the keys in my hand. I reached the classroom and found a chattering class on the carpet. I took in the first ten minutes and let my eyes wander around the room...almost as if memorizing what would be my new "home." The curious and unattentive children came straight towards me with hugs and questions. There was never a dull moment within the first twenty minutes. I had to line the children up and remind Austin it isn't okay to steal the teacher's things off her desk. He finally put the Domino's pizza coupons back. There still seems to be one missing. I quickly took my keys from Quentin's hand before he put them in his pocket. Not only do children always find some way to be sneaky, but they are lucky we teachers are made with an extra set of eyes in the back of our heads! When the time finally came for sharing about themselves one little boy proceeded to show me his wrists which had wiggly "x"s drawn on them in marker as blue as the sky. "I, I, I have something to share about myself, Miss Elton." Thrown off by the formal name I was being called, I had to keep myself attentive to Tyler's personal fact he was sharing. "These dots are where my Web Blasters are." I couldn't help but grin at the boy wearing a Superman shirt who had shared his secret superpower with me. All I could say is, "Wow! I've never seen that before. You must be really special." Although this class seemed constantly distracted by one another, I couldn't help but fall in love with each one...even the rebels who asked me why I wouldn't marry them instead of my fiance. They may be inattentive at times, but they always know how to make me smile. I was so distracted by the constant questions and remarks that time flew by and before I knew it, I was leaving the school to head back to Evangel. Children have a way of making me feel right at home. The comfort level can either mean that I adjust quickly, or that I am doing what I truly was purposed to do...teach. I think the latter is the better answer to my riddle. It'll be an interesting year!

Busy Busy Bee

This weekend was busy, busy, busy...but a good busy nonetheless! Friday night I had sushi for the first time! I don't normally eat anything from under the sea, but my friends told me I need to at least try it. So i got veggie rolls and then tried some nasty crab thing....they were wrong! I hated it! It was an experience though and I was really glad to share it with my friends. I love them! They cheered me on when I tried it...hilarious! I couldn't help laugh even though the food in my mouth tasted like seaweed. Then we went mini-golfing and until that night I had never thought one game of mini-golf could take over 2 hours but with a group of 8, and a group like ours, it was so much fun! Then Saturday we drove up to Table Rock Lake were a friend of ours has a log cabin. Despite the 50 degree weather and the rain, we made the best of it and spent 2 hours in the 80 degree water. I cherish the fact that the times when things could be just plain fun, our friends seem to create moments to remember! I never have to worry that my friends are using alcohol or messing around to have fun. They always find everyday ways to help us to have fun and entertain us. I wouldn't trade these relationships for the world! Friends are what make college worth while!

Passion Aflame

Spiritual emphasis week at Evangel was more powerful this semester than any I've been a part of. It was so refreshing to watch God move so strongly. By the end of the night we as a student body were jumping and dancing and enjoying being in the Lord's house together. We "danced like David danced!" Something that our speaker, Herbert Cooper continually said was that it is easy for an ignited flame to burn out when its just a momentary emotional high and not a passion. He encouraged us to spend time at the altar calling on God to create or further burn a passion in our lives that would be evident and strong even when there is no Spiritual Emphasis week on campus. I know that at the moment God has birthed a passion in me for my girls on my floor. As an RA I weep for them, I petition God for them, and I rejoice with them. I sometimes wonder how I came to be so passionate and in love with each and every personality and individual on this floor. I realize that God gave me this passion and to be there to help carry their burdens. I wouldn't trade a moment of it!!! Tonight however, it really hit me that I will be walking off this campus for good in less than a year and I will leave these girls behind. What passion will the Lord burn in me next? I wanted him to begin to burn it in my heart tonight and because He is faithful when we ask...HE DID! I know that I enjoy being in front of the classroom and being with children but tonight I prayed that I would burn for them...that through me they would see Christ. I pray they would know that they are special, fearfully and wonderfully made, each designed with a purpose and a plan. I pray that in the schools like those low-income schools here in Springfield, that the children who come to school with bruises, with tattered clothes, from broken homes, and dropped off daily by their mother's begrudging boyfriend- that they would know they are loved and they are precious. I know that this task will require patience, favor, and wisdom...and unconditional love. I pray for exactly that. Faith like a child's is worth more than gold and if these children can see Christ through me, not only will they realize the beauty and value of their life but also, may their pure faith be contagious to those around them. LORD I WANNA BURN!!!! I realized that we as an American society, and a community of believers don't ask God enough...."What's my passion?"

My Biggest Sister

She was the one I looked up to,
Except when she had the boy-cut hairdo.

She taught me what not to wear,
Like her Starter jacket of the Chicago Bears.

Her plaid shirts and paisley shorts,
Looked better than those she wore for sports.

She would always leave some room in her bed,
For me come to sleep in when I couldn't rest my head.

Less concerned about boys and more track,
She found a real catch, a real Daddy mack!

My biggest sister is like a Monica wanna-be,
With her house spick-and-span and no crumbs to see.

I'll never be able to thank her for the few mistakes she made,
Because to my parents I'm the angel and that name will never fade.

She hates that I wrote poems so eloquently,
And wishes that she could rhyme just like me.

So what will she do with story I've told?
Will she realize her little sister thinks she's precious as gold?

An Ordinary Day

On this ordinary day,
My alarm clock refused to go off.
I awoke unrefreshed
And with a hacking cough.

The room remained unchanged,
Clothing heaped like piles of hay.
New opportunities seemed unwelcomed
On this ordinary day.

Mind and body raced through the motions,
While my heart was fast asleep.
Had I forgotten what a new day's blessing meant?
Had I allowed Christ's love to seep?

Falling down in desperation,
To my heavenly father I had much to say.
I thanked Him for his grace and beautiful love,
On this all but ordinary day!





(Psalm 118:24)

Shoe Cents

I can't remember the last time that I purchased any pair of shoes that wasn't a Target product. Today, I broke down, pried open the piggy bank, and went to the mall for a "real" pair of running shoes. I blamed my crackling knees and burning back on my dire dedication to running....that puzzle piece didn't seem to fit. It was today I realized that it was about time to walk away from Wal-Mart's aisle 4 and to invest in an over-priced pair of kicks.
I brought my shoe connoisseur, JP, with me to the mall. JP was ecstatic that I had reasoned to buy an authentic set of athletic shoes. The moment we deliberately strolled into the store I walked straight towards the "Clearance" section while my other half began to pick out the most dynamic women's shoes. It didn't matter that I had chosen to break the bank for these shoes, for I have been conditioned to look for the best deals, despite the product. It took several moments for JP to pry me away from the "SALE" wall. As he picked out shoes that would fit my running habits, I browsed for the most fashionable. It was here I realized yet another difference between men and women. My fiance, the ultimate bargain shopper, views shopping excursions such as these, as moments destined to spend more than a dime on, while I on the other hand take several doubting and guilty money-spending moments to decide that if I must empty the wallet, the product must match both wardrobe and personality!
Needless to say, I left the store with the cheapest pair of quality kicks that my money could afford me and that my feet gladly accepted. However, it will probably take me a week to introduce them to the track....I'm not sure if I feel justified to keep them.

Worry-wart

Last night JP and I had a long conversation about money, our honeymoon, and the like. When talking about our post-wedding vacation plans I became so over-concerned about spending the money that we don't have. It's a scarry thought....knowing that we will be on our own. That is the understatement of the year. But while I was clouded over with my worry-wart syndrome, I failed to remember how faithful God is...and not just with finances. JP was my calm after the storm. Who ever thought that there was a man out there who was born to deal with me, and to do it with such finesse. In the midst of my panic mode, my soon to be fiance looked into my teary eyes and whispered a phrase that will resound in my ears anytime I am less than calm, "You will be mine and I will take care of you in the good and the bad, with whatever it takes. It is not because I have to but because it is my honor to have you." I never doubt the man that I am going to be with....and this is exactly why I'll never have to. If there is any other earthly man, besides my superhero father, that I would trust my future with, it would be my future mate.

In Sickness...and in health

Being engaged hasn't been the thin slice of heaven that Hollywood depicts it as. There seems to be 20 hours in a day rather than 24. The tension between my all-too-similar mother and I has only grown at times and the realization that money really does create limitations has never resounded louder. There are those ideal moments however that help me to understand why love is worth it all. This morning as I sat in educational psychology, my knight sitting sniffling next to me, I fell in love with romance all over again. As he sniffled and snuffed and I watched his nose run from a competing sinus infection, my heart couldn't help but melt. To many people, the sight of a Ny-quil knocked-up man rubbing his nose, isn't enchanting. Although I can't say this occassion had my mind wandering on the clouds with resonating violins in the background, it did give me this sense of comfort. I imagine rainy mornings like today, when going to work is inevitable and difficult, waking up next to this seemingly-average human and feeling more than content to stare at his droopy eyes and to feel the corners of my mouth curl up in joy and empathy. This whole picture paints the true image of love....love is a choice. Love is not necessarily always having those butterflies or looking your best but knowing that at the beginnning and end of the day, at their best and their worst, the other half of you is what you want...not just need. The sinus-congested male in the seat next to me is all that I want at the end of the day, to love, to care for, to nurse back to health, to laugh with and at, and to be mine..."In sickness and in health," is more than a phrase but a choice and an ultimate privilege. I can't wait to be with this man!